fuck.. seems to be the only defining word for how i feel .. stuck in an eighty-sum thousand population that i can't escape.. i don't have any motivation anymore.. you could call it suicidal, but i call it a release, i just don't have the balls to do so.. i have never affected the world around me, its as if i never existed.. i hate this city, almost as much as i hate myself for not being able do deal with it.. i don't know how i can get out anymore, any effort i put forth makes me feel like i fucking suck.. well, in the words of a wise man: fuck it, lets go bowling